It will be six years since I got married in Dec. and I just finally went through with changing my last name last week. For me, it has been a journey....filled with questions, reasonings, and growth. I have always struggled with the issue of name change...why do women have to change their names after they marry....my guidebook of life, the Bible says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."Gen 2:24 See? hence my rationale has always been that if there be need for name change at all...it should be on the man's part.
I love my name. My first name is loaded as a way of giving thanks to the Almighty. My maiden last name is hyphenated....with the first part being my Dad's first name, his name signifies "my worthiness of the crown" and the second part is a universal name that could have belonged to an Italian, Portugese, French, or Spanish family....in spanish it means beautiful! my older brother was besides himself the last time he was in Italy seeing his name on every other major business establishment. I was brought up to be proud of my name, my heritage, my identity.
However, at this point in my life....I am learning to embrace my whole identity...I am learning that as I grow so does my understanding of life and personal convictions....I am learning that what I lay down does not deprive me as long as I am in the will of my Lord and Savior....who laid down His life for me. Before arriving at this junction, my husband and I have argued about changing my name numerous times...then his family started pressuring and that made me even more unyielding...if I was thinking of changing my name before, their interference made me totally unwilling. The more my husband talked about it the more I justified my decision. If anyone is married, they would understand how turbulent a marriage could be at the beginning and unfortunately I nursed terrible strategies about saving one headache or two if our marriage went kaput..........my thought was, "at least I wouldn't need a name change"....can you imagine? oh the sure mercies of God....
It has been quite a journey...people would make comments here and there... "oh you have different last names" and most recently at the hospital after we had our twins...they would refer to the babies by my maiden name...assuming that it was my married name and of course their last name. On one of such instances, my husband was there...and he just kept his peace...I saw it...his reaction showed that he had settled the matter within himself....His reaction spoke volumes......also by then, I had made my peace with the Almighty to change my last name to my husbands'
So what made me change my mind? hmmmm....I came to a place where I wanted to embrace my husband totally...reverence him, prefer him....we have been through a lot together and I love him as he loves me both in word and deeds (he still looked at me this morning and winked at me) .... he really really desires that we have the same name....and most importantly...it was my decision through the help of the Holy Spirit...not shoved down my throat without reason by some unexplainable tradition, system, or culture. I am most thankful to the i.) Almighty for His sure mercies and not allowing me to be consumed by my ignorance
ii.) to my husband for loving me unconditionally and letting me grow and fly at my pace
iii.) to my parents and siblings for their PRAYERS!!, patience, and support
iv.) to my Pastors for speaking out and making me think...
So my husband and I now have the same last name....may our journey continue with the mercies and sustenance of the Father.
Lesson Learned: I am my Father's daughter and I bear His name alone!
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